Here we go again

So I have yet to begin writing about my love life and I'm a little hesitant to begin now....for a few reasons.......the most important being.......I can be an IDIOT when it comes to guys and who wants to admit all their flaws to a bunch of people they don't know...........but hey "we" all have our strengths and weaknesses right?!? LOL......so here goes nothing.

I recently got out of a completely toxic relationship. It was short lived (thank goodness) but it was horrible....the short version.....he was thirteen years my elder two kids....(whom I never met) a crazy ex wife, always broke, always "borrowing money" which of course I NEVER saw again, very controlling....basically the type of guy who you never want to see your daughter date.....because of my past history.....which includes numerous tales of me trying to save basically every man I've ever dated from themselves and every different type of woe you can imagine....yeah it's been an interesting life.....maybe I'll elaborate some other time......but in this case I was actually proud of myself from walking away before I got serious burned emotionally, monetarily, or even more frightening physically. WooHoo one point for Ashley.....lol

I am about to jump back on the horse yet again........and to be honest with myself and everyone else I am not completely sure I am ready. I am not convinced I am strong enough yet. I do not want to fall back into the old traps. None the less I have my first date since the break up tomorrow. I am beyond nervous. I hope I can keep a level head.....keep my eyes and ears open and watch out for ALL the warning signs......lol..........wish me luck ya'll and I'll keep you posted on the latest adventures. *SMILE*

Live Love Laugh,
Ashley

Dreams come true

I received a call Monday morning, ironically from the mother of the first family I ever worked as a nanny for, on the first day of my latest job. At first I was a little hesitant to listen to what she was offering. I was literally on the 3rd hour of my job and assumed things would be fine where I was currently positioned. I had talked with H on numerous occasions this year. Learning that her soon to be husband wanted her to get preggo and that she said only if I'd come back lol, then again when she became preggo, again when they got married, extensively when they went out of the country and I took a weeks vacation to care for my old charges and finally this conversation. They are offering, if I am willing to move back to Ohio, to match my salary now to work part-time for them, currently I'm working 60-80 hours a week, also provide room and board, AND they will work around my schedule so that I can go back to school and get my masters. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What other point in time is someone going to practically hand me my masters? I feel as though this is the year of me. A large part of my life unfortunately I have spent attempting to make relationships with the opposite sex work leaving me and my desires to finish dead last in the pack. Making this move I feel as though I am making a huge statement to myself. The past few years have had so many ups and downs between the robbery, and the car accident, kidney stones, finally graduating from college, being rejected for surgery, finally being approved, going through the procedure, dealing with not only the physical changes since surgery but also the emotional and hormonal aspects.....it has been to say the least a roller coaster. The stars must be aligned at the moment however because this is an opportunity that only comes around once in a lifetime. The dreams I have been agonizing over have suddenly become not only obtainable but manageable. I am elated. I can not wait to be around some of my closest friends again and working with children that I not only helped raise but also helped form me into the person I am today. I feel as though the big exhale I have been waiting for has finally arrived. Miracles do happen.........when you least expect them.

Live Love Laugh,
Ashley

Excuse me sir and miss but this is not what was expected.....

I began my new job on Monday November 3 and I am already ready to punch a baby. (Dane Cook people don't take it too seriously) I have been completely bam boozled. First of all during my interview I was told that they had just moved in....I felt this was a good interpretation of what I was seeing......boxes EVERYWHERE....toys EVERYWHERE......chaos EVERYWHERE....I have since learned that they JUST moved in over 3 months ago and "we don't believe in really keeping up with appearances" in English they don't believe in keeping their house clean. There is literally 2 inches of dirt, food, sand and garbage all over their floors. Do we live in America? I really didn't think people could live in 750,000 dollar homes yet not even run a vacuum cleaner..........to make matters worse they don't even OWN a vacuum cleaner.....yes I said and mean it......they do not own a vacuum cleaner. Did I mention one of the children is 10 months old and is crawling on these floors and attempting to eat all the crap of their floors. Stick a fork in me I'm done. I do not know if I am strong enough to handle this situation. To make matters even worse the two older boys are the devils spawn. They do not listen to anyone EVER, they have in less than a week attempted to beat me up, beat each other, thrown food across my car, thrown food across the kitchen, throw cups out the car windows, punched the baby, and have eaten more candy than I thought was possible in a year. They completely run the entire house. I have never seen a family more in need of Dr. Phil, Opera, Nanny 911, and GOD him/herself more in my entire life. Can ya'll do me a favor? Please pray for me.............because at this point it may be the only thing that saves me. I'd write more but these 15 hour days are kicking my ass.

Live Love Laugh
Ashley